i'm not moving, just toying around with tumblr.. it's fun! that's where i'll be posting random photographs of myself, food and the people i love. you can follow me here. 

glee kept me awake on the plane to moscow this morning.. i didn't know we had its red eye collection onboard. great stuff! i have to say this- glee is simply amazing. i must've teared a couple of times and some of the episodes really gave me gleegoosebumps (if there's even sucha thing?) haven't had proper sleep since the ten-hour flight and not to mention, the two-hour bus ride we had to put up with right after. they should find us a nearer hotel man. the last time i was here, i got chased by a dog and was almost mugged by two men at a flea market so this time, hanging out with ayu and jessica at the lobby while being totally typical gen-Y(s) is IT.

oh and by the way, it's already mid june and before you know it, it's 2011. been four months and counting, and i still don't see you doing anything about it. ZERO, ZILCH.



i might see you falling beautiful//

i just found out today that coughing too much can cause muscular interjection. finally got around to see the doctor about my very chesty condition and the irony is, when i am truly sick, i usually don't need an MC cos hey, i happen to be sick only on my off days. which is great, i'm trying my best to keep my record straight. may was a very good month.. till i started drinking excessively again. my girlfriends are not doing anything to help! my brother's wedding is just around the corner and i'm taking this opportunity or rather, as an excuse, to cut down on partying, detox and get back into shape. if only half the things in this world are easier done then said. i was hoping to watch The Private Lives of Pippa Lee before bedtime tonight but looks like my d drive, just like everything else, is busted.

but of course, people won't pour till they start bleeding. i am bleeding right now. i tried so hard for myself, for us, but what for? i leave you with an excerpt from the past. i wrote it for no one special but it means so much to me right now.

"tonight. the light. the bending roads and the moon. cloudy skies from every ends. the way you held me from way up there. reaching speed from down below. it was almost perfect. nothingness. your blatant expression. you said this is just a game. and we should be nothing less than happy. you taught me to be selfish. and made it seem okay not to respond. every word to every rhythm. every song you sing to me. you're like an answer to my prayers. the calmness to my nerves, the pain to my pleasure. still you said it was okay. it was okay not to love. because this is just a game. and if it makes us nothing. nothing less than happy. you will give and give and give. and expect nothing in return."

- lose this tummy
- chop my hair off

happy birthday, fiq. i hope you liked what i got you this year. wouldn't trade anything for that look upon your face. when you walked into that room.. when you blew the candles or asked for my name. when you said those words that pierced right through my heart. but all i could feel was love. time is running out, feelings can fade and things will change around us. but only love will keep me coming back for more. 

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near..

ever been stuck in somewhere different?
allured by that one unfamiliar smell that keeps haunting you everywhere you go.
help me out, my mystérieux..